What Are You Doing Because You Think You Should?

There is a question I’ve been asking myself lately:

What am I doing because I actually want to… and what am I doing because I think I should?

It’s a surprisingly uncomfortable question.

Because some of the things we call “responsibility,” “self-care,” “being a good mom,” “being productive,” or even “wellness” are really just expectations we’ve been carrying for a very long time.

And sometimes, those expectations aren’t serving us anymore.

The Problem With “Should”

“Should” isn’t always bad. There are plenty of things we should probably do. Pay our bills. Brush our teeth. Take care of the people we love.

But there is another kind of “should.” The kind that sounds like:

And eventually, “should” becomes a very convincing substitute for “want.”

What If You Questioned It?

Take a look at the things currently taking up your time, energy, money, and mental space. For each one, ask yourself:

Do I actually want this?

Does this still matter to me?

Is this supporting the life I’m trying to create?

Would I choose this again if I were starting from scratch?

What would happen if I stopped?

And maybe the most uncomfortable question:

Who am I afraid will be disappointed if I don’t?

Because sometimes the answer isn’t, “I need to do this.”

It’s:

“I’m afraid someone will think I’m selfish if I don’t.”

That’s a very different problem.

This Is Part of Wellness, Too

I think this is part of wellness that we don’t talk about enough. Wellness isn’t only about what we add. Sometimes it’s about what we question. What we stop. What we release. What we decide no longer deserves our energy.

A healthier life doesn’t necessarily require a better morning routine, a stricter diet, a cleaner house, or another productivity system. Sometimes it starts with asking whether the life you’re working so hard to maintain is actually the life you want.

Try This: Your “Should” List

Take five minutes and write down five things you currently do because you think you should. Don’t overthink it. They can be big or incredibly small. Then put one of these next to each:

KEEP
This still matters to me.

CHANGE
This matters, but the way I’m doing it isn’t working.

LET GO
This doesn’t need to be mine anymore.

REVISIT
I’m not sure yet.

And here’s the important part: You don’t have to quit everything.

You don’t have to blow up your life. You don’t even have to make a decision today. Sometimes simply recognizing that something is a choice, rather than a requirement, is enough to create a little breathing room.

Maybe That’s Where We Start

Maybe creating a healthier life isn’t always about figuring out what to add next. Maybe sometimes it’s about getting honest about what you can stop carrying. You don’t have to change your whole life.

Start with one “should.” Question it. And see what happens.

What’s one thing you’ve been doing because you think you should?

A little about me

I’m Rebecca Lange, a wellness and life coach who believes taking care of yourself shouldn’t require adding another complicated system to your already-full life.

My work brings together wellness, sleep, healthy homes, emotional well-being, and intentional living. I help women simplify the things that feel overwhelming so they can create healthier lives that actually work for them.

If you’re looking for practical guidance without the perfectionism, overwhelm, or “do more” mentality, you’re in the right place.

Want a little more support? Explore my services and see how we can work together to make your healthier life a little easier: rebeccalangewellness.com.

Thanks for being here!

Warmly,
Rebecca
[email protected]