After years of working with babies, children, and families, I can tell you that “my baby won’t sleep” can mean about 47 different things.

Maybe they won’t nap unless they’re held. Maybe they wake every 45 minutes, bedtime suddenly takes two hours, they’re wide awake at 3 a.m., or they’ve decided 5 a.m. is a perfectly reasonable time to start the day. Maybe they were sleeping GREAT two weeks ago and suddenly… they’re not.

Or maybe sleep has never been particularly great, and you’ve reached the point where everyone is exhausted and you’re wondering what you’re supposed to do about it.

Despite what the internet might tell you, the answer isn’t automatically “sleep train.”

When a family comes to me with a sleep problem, I don’t start by choosing a sleep training method. I start by figuring out why sleep isn’t working.

There are a LOT of things that affect how easily a baby or child falls asleep, stays asleep, naps, and wakes in the morning. That means I’m rarely looking at just one thing when I’m trying to understand what’s happening.

I want to know when your child wakes up, when and how long they nap, how much awake time they’re getting, when bedtime happens, and what happens overnight. Sleep doesn’t exist independently from the rest of the day.

Sometimes a child simply isn’t tired enough when we’re asking them to sleep. Sometimes they’re WAY too tired. Sometimes one nap is throwing off the rest of the day. And sometimes the schedule looks perfectly reasonable on paper, but it isn’t working for this particular child.

That last part matters. Babies aren’t spreadsheets, and an age-appropriate schedule is only useful if it actually works for the baby following it.

I also want to know what bedtime actually looks like in your house. Not what Pinterest says it should look like and not what your friend’s baby does. Yours.

Where does your child fall asleep? What happens when they start getting tired? What happens when they protest? Are they fed, rocked, held, bounced, nursed, walked, sung to, or given a pacifier?

None of those things are automatically “bad habits.” I care much more about whether what you’re doing is still working for your family.

If rocking your baby to sleep works beautifully for everyone, I’m not going to tell you to stop doing it simply because somebody decided babies “should” fall asleep independently. But if bedtime requires 45 minutes of bouncing on a yoga ball and you’re dreading it every night, that’s useful information. We can work with that.

Light, temperature, noise, clothing, sleep space, and distractions can all affect sleep. Sometimes we spend so much time analyzing wake windows and sleep associations that we overlook something surprisingly simple.

And no, you don’t need to buy 17 different sleep products. Sometimes a few small changes to the environment make a significant difference.

Babies and children are constantly changing. Rolling, sitting, standing, walking, talking, separation anxiety, nap transitions, and simply becoming more aware of the world can all temporarily disrupt sleep.

Sleep can absolutely get messy during developmental changes. But “it’s a regression” also shouldn’t become the explanation for every sleep problem for the next six months.

Sometimes the right answer really is to give it a little time. Sometimes something about the schedule, routine, or way sleep is happening needs to change. Knowing the difference is important.

This is the piece I think gets left out of a lot of sleep advice: there isn’t one universally correct way for a child to sleep.

Maybe you love contact naps but desperately want bedtime to be easier. Maybe you don’t mind one overnight feeding but waking six times is no longer sustainable. Maybe rocking your baby to sleep is your favorite part of the day. Or maybe you are completely touched out and cannot rock another human being for 45 minutes tonight.

Those families need different plans.

The goal isn’t to make your baby sleep the way somebody on Instagram says they should. The goal is to help your family get the rest you need in a way that actually works for you.

You look at the whole picture.

Sometimes the answer is a schedule adjustment. Sometimes it’s changing a routine or the sleep environment. Sometimes it’s developmental. Sometimes there’s a sleep association that worked perfectly well three months ago but isn’t working anymore. And quite often, there are several little things happening at once.

Yes, sometimes a family decides they want to work on independent sleep, too. But sleep training is a tool. It isn’t the diagnosis.

That’s why I don’t hand every family the same sleep schedule or tell every parent to use the same method. I look at your child, your current sleep patterns, your routines, your family, and what you actually want sleep to look like. Then we figure out what needs to change.

That’s exactly what I help families figure out.

You don’t have to keep Googling wake windows at 2 a.m., trying a new routine every three days, or wondering whether you’re somehow doing this wrong. Sometimes an outside set of experienced eyes can see the pattern that’s really hard to see when you’re living it every day and you’re exhausted.

My Comprehensive Pediatric Sleep Consultation includes a detailed look at your child’s current sleep, a personalized Family Rest Plan, a 60-minute consultation, follow-up support, and 30 days of text support while you actually put the plan into practice.

If sleep is mostly working but you’ve hit a regression, nap transition, early waking, bedtime battle, travel disruption, or another specific snag, Sleep Coach In Your Pocket gives you direct text access to me for 48 hours or 10 days so we can troubleshoot it together.

Not sure which kind of support you need? Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation. Tell me what’s happening with sleep, and we’ll figure out the best next step.

Because “my baby won’t sleep” is the beginning of the conversation. My job is figuring out why.

Visit www.HealthySleepConsultant.com for more info on how we can work together if you’re strugling with your child’s sleep.

A little about me

I’m Rebecca Lange, a wellness and life coach who believes taking care of yourself shouldn’t require adding another complicated system to your already-full life.

My work brings together wellness, sleep, healthy homes, emotional well-being, and intentional living. I help women simplify the things that feel overwhelming so they can create healthier lives that actually work for them.

If you’re looking for practical guidance without the perfectionism, overwhelm, or “do more” mentality, you’re in the right place.

Want a little more support? Explore my services and see how we can work together to make your healthier life a little easier: RebeccaLangeWellness.com.

Thanks for being here!

Warmly,
Rebecca
[email protected]